Before his first diaper change, Michael Eldrick Jones was branded for life. There was not a doubt in his parents’ minds that they were doing the right thing. Sarah and Evan were securing lifetime sponsorship for their soon-to-arrive son. It would bring him many advantages.
The concept of child sponsorship had outlived its initial controversy, and was gaining acceptance throughout the States. It was beginning to catch on in other parts of the world. In exchange for financial aid for the major events and expenses in a child’s life, the parents would agree to have their child display at all times, through identity apparel and other accessories, a company’s logo. It was a bold and shameless step forward in marketing. There was an uproar when it was first introduced. The uproar ceased when prospective parents discovered how much money was available.
The process was not unlike seeking a university scholarship. Corporations published their available sponsorships, to which expectant parents applied. Sponsorship committees reviewed the parents’ application to determine financial and social fit, then probed into their backgrounds to determine what the child’s strengths would probably be. They considered each parent’s educational background, awards, civic involvement, personal and professional accomplishments, and even psychological profile. In some cases, they conducted DNA testing. Competition was fierce among the sponsorship seekers, and even the parents’ competitive style and teamwork were evaluated. The potential sponsors were very thorough, as their reputation was at stake.
The companies offering sponsorships were quite varied. As expected, the first in the game were the sports equipment and apparel makers. Record companies and musical instrument manufacturers joined in, followed closely by software companies. Soft drink makers, fast food companies, and NASCAR also weighed in with attractive programs. Even some universities in Texas and Indiana were offering sponsorships. The thought was that if they sponsored a child and he became a success in their field, the return on investment could be enormous. What better spokesperson for their brand than one they’d sponsored throughout all of life’s changes? Help the kid succeed and he will be grateful enough to return the favor. Sure there were risks—the kid might not have the killer instinct on the ice or might saw the violin into splinters. But the odds were, with the extensive research that went into each prospective child, that the payoff would be there. Any child that didn’t perform up to standards could be written off as a loss.
To secure their loyalty, the sponsors required the parents and child to put a little skin in the game, too. The child had to maintain certain athletic, academic, and artistic standards, which were established using the parents’ composite characteristics. Civic involvement and mandatory attendance at certain public events–casually termed “public showings”–rounded out the package. Even when considered all together, it wasn’t an onerous burden for the family. There were, of course, penalties for withdrawing from the program.
As for Sarah and Evan, they landed one of the best sponsors available, Nike. Evan had been an All-American in collegiate football, and was courted heavily by several professional teams. He chose instead to go into business and his acumen paid off with several successful hi-tech startups. Sarah had been a track-and-field Olympian, then a motivational speaker, prior to focusing on children. The new family was a perfect fit for the corporation. They were proven performers.
Mirroring their past performances, the Joneses negotiated a very advantageous deal. Delivery of their new child would be paid for completely, with no worries about all the little things that insurance wouldn’t cover. To this they added tuition from Montessori through under-graduate, the finest medical insurance package, braces and eyewear, if necessary, as often as necessary.
All they had to do in return was have the Nike logo visible on their child any time they were out in public. This was hardly a chore–it was easy to find clothes with the Nike logo, for they were everywhere and everyone was wearing them. But for the Joneses it was even easier: Nike provided the child’s wardrobe from birth until he tossed his mortarboard hat into the air.
It was too good to believe, almost like getting a child for free. They had to pay none of the expenses associated with raising a child, and for such a small concession.
They had joked with their Nike account representative about co-branding. Evan actually thought the hyphenated surname of “Nike-Jones” sounded rather bold and catchy, but the representative assured them that Nike wasn’t as unethical as their competitors. They didn’t want to intrude into the family tree. Simple visual branding was sufficient.
They negotiated the deal right up to their due date, inking it only hours before Sarah gave birth to a beautifully healthy 7-pound-10-ounces baby boy, whom they promptly named Michael. Evan couldn’t resist the visual similarities between their son’s certain nickname and the name of his sponsor. If you suffixed a ‘y’ it even sounded the same.
The late night delivery was considered easy by those not physically involved, and mother and baby were separated as is the norm in modern hospitals. After seeing Sarah to her room, Evan walked to the waiting area, where he was met by two sets of proud grandparents and an equally happy Nike executive. After a champagne toast everyone retired to their homes and hotels.
Evan arrived at the hospital late the next morning, eager to see his new son and to celebrate with his wife, who overnight had acquired that mysterious radiance, authority, and omniscience known as motherhood. They shared a few private moments, then sent for little Mikey.
The room was filled with awe, tears, and laughter as they cuddled and cooed with their son. They had never imagined the joy they now experienced holding their own child. Since they’d taken such care for his future, they were spared the weight of realization that hits so many parents when they look into the face of their helpless infant. They double-counted his toes and fingers, gently worked all his little joints, and tried to determine which features he received from each of them. Already he looked strong and confident, seemingly marked for success. He was certainly starting with a definite advantage.
Sarah fed him, then called for the staff to return him to the nursery for a few hours. Just before they took him away, Sarah asked to lift the small bandage on his right temple. It was part of the agreement, but she still felt a little shock upon seeing the small black Swoosh tattoo.
(Copyright © 2003, Kevin Archer)